Living the story you want to tell.

I have had alot of messages from people after posting a recent photo of myself because of how different i look. Alot of you probably dont know how poorly i have been. I have lost alot of weight but there is also a sadness and a story beyond what you can see that i have decided i am finally ready to share.

You have seen the adverts on TV where the public are warned of antibiotic resistance dangers, well unfortunately they came out after i was diagnosed. ( I have noticed these adverts seem to have dissapeared now) As part of the campaign doctors are warning that deaths linked to antibiotic resistance will rise. In just over 30 years, when the current generation of children are grown up, they believe antibiotic resistance will kill more people than cancer and diabetes combined and without effective antibiotics minor infections could become deadly and many medical advances could be at risk. Surgery, chemotherapy and caesareans could become simply too dangerous.

I was given no end of antibiotics during and after the birth of my daughter and was given no warning of the risks or side effects of taking them. I wasnt given a choice even though many of them were to prevent infections. Even after being diagnosed with a C diff infection i was given no knowledge of this illness.

I have felt very let down by the doctors and hospital. They have over prescribed the wrong antibiotics putting me at greater risk of antibiotic resistance. The hospital wouldnt release the antibiotics i needed to treat my infection because i was an outpatient in the community, but no pharmacy could get them for me because they were too expensive, They kept saying they had sent off referrals for some mental health support when they hadnt and because of this i have had to wait over 4 months for any support. I have also had unhelpful comments such as ‘People your age dont get this its old people who get it.”

Well i am proof they do and after doing my own reasearch i found a support group with people of all ages and circumstances suffering. I have been talking to other young mums who have had this after the birth of their child, a prolonged stay in hospital and taking broad spectrum antibiotics. Reading stories from other C diff survivors has helped me not to feel so alone and gave me knowledge, support and hope.

C difficile bacteria can be found in hospitals, nursing homes, in the community, in the soil, water and in processed foods also about 3 in 100 healthy adults and 7 in 10 healthy babies have a number of C. difficile bacteria living in their gut. The number of C. difficile bacteria that live in the gut of healthy people is kept in check by all the other harmless bacteria that also live in the gut but when you take antibiotics your gut flora is wiped out and that leaves you vunerable to infections that unfortunately are hard to treat.

I am trying to raise awareness of this superbug. A C diff infection knows no boundaries it can be aquired by anyone, at any age and in any location and even when the physical sympoms have gone C diff has a deep and lasting effect on you and those around you.

Be aware of the risks of taking antibiotics i wish i had known the possible side effects.

My doctors surgery have now put information packs around the surgery to educate patients since i complained about the lack of public awareness and information. I feel we should all know the risks before going into hospital or being prescribed any antibiotics.
I still think more should be done, leaflets should be given out with every prescription of antibiotics and probitoics should be given along side them to help protect you. I hope others dont go through what ive been through but if i have made a difference for one person it has been worth it. I am still fighting to be heard and the microbiology lab at Kettering General have now changed their policies to be able to prescribe to outpatients.

Without the love and support of my fiancè, mum, family and friends i really dont know how i would have made it this far. I hope you all take the time to read my story if you share it could you please share the whole thing not just the story. Thank you xx

Mental Health Awareness

This week is mental health awareness week. The only thing more exhausting than having a mental illness is pretending you don’t so please speak out. Your not a mess your brave for trying. When you stand and share your story it will heal you and your story will heal someone else. Stars can’t shine without darkness. Take it all one day at a time. Feel free to share this post it might help someone who is suffering in silence.

Mentally and physically.

My body and mind have changed dramatically over the past year and a half.

I wish there was a way you could see the mental changes aswell as the physical.

In the first picture I was size 14-16 but carefree and confident

The second picture i was 8 months pregnant happy and glowing.

The third picture I am 4 months post baby and suffering from my C Diff infection Size 4-6. My hair was falling out and my body was not absorbing nutrients
I was anxious and self consious.

The fourth picture I am 8 months post C Diff. I have been starting to rebuild my life. I am also more health aware than before.

The changes the human body and mind can go through is crazy.

C diff broke me and has almost destroyed me physically and mentally but i am determinded i will not give up. I am starting to accept the new me and i am finding my new ‘normal’ I now make the most of every single day, and i appreciate everything so much more than I ever did before. The things that seemed important before i had C Diff dont seem to matter now. I have lost alot but i have gained a heart filled with gratitude, a head full of knowledge and a cause to raise awareness of.

Antibiotics destroyed my good gut bacteria and left me vunerable to a C diff infection (CDI) Now i am focused on rebuilding it and to help protect myself my family and others. I take a high quality probiotic tablet every day, i don’t eat anything processed, i eat mainly organic and anti- inflammatory foods, I am almost gluten and dairy free and my diet includes pre and pro biotic foods that are fermented and full of nutrients.

It is my goal to raise awareness, to share the things I have learnt and to help protect other people from the devistating effects of C. Diff.

Managing motherhood, time, anxiety and a career after C Diff

I am so lucky to have such loyal clients who have been so patient and understanding while i was on maternity and also while i had to take time off due to my C Diff infections and mental state but it really is a juggling act being a working mummy with anxiety.

I wanted to work ‘part time’ to enjoy as much time as I could with my daughter until she went to school so I thought having my own business would be the best option because I could choose my working hours. Working from home does have its benefits but it’s not as simple as it sounds and I definitely don’t work part time. I am a nail technition and beauty therapist. I work on a Thursday and Saturday normally around 20 hours a week. I hate to let people down so quite often it is more than that. These are my ‘client days’ when i do treatments BUT being self employed i also have to find time outside of these days to do my stock checks, ordering, cleaning, advertising, accounts, banking, promotion, appointments, training, not forgetting raising a child, running a house, maintaining friendships etc etc…

I am lucky my mum and mother in law both work part time and i dont have to pay for childcare on my client days but alot of quality time with my daughter is lost on my ‘days off’ because i have so many other jobs to do.

The average working mum clocks in a 98-hour work week there is no wonder why i am always tired and then after C Diff I developed Post traumatic Stress disorder, OCD and depression which has also left me with servere health anxiety not only for myself but my family aswell. I became so scared of infecting others that i spent alot of time cleaning but i felt like nothing was ever clean enough and even after 8 months it’s a constant battle with my head to stop cleaning and leave the house.

I have also changed my diet, I am pretty much vegetarian, occasionally I will eat organic meat. I have cut down on gluten and dairy products and I don’t eat prosessed foods which means preparing meals takes longer. I consume prebiotics and probiotics daily to help rebuild my gut but sourcing all the best ingredients takes longer which also has a big impact on time.

That’s the thing with C Diff even after the infection has cleared there is no guarantee that it won’t return. We are left waiting in fear that it will keep coming back and could potentially kill us so we do everything we can to protect ourselves and our families thus creating more work for ourselves.

I missed the first few months of my daughter’s life because of C Diff so I now try to make the most of every single day. I have an appreciation of life that I didn’t have before. It can be overwhelming and exhausting but my daughter has experienced so much and we have made so many memories already.

From talking to other young mothers who have suffered a C.Diff infection I know these feelings and symptoms are common but I want you to know that you are not alone and it does get better. I am asking for help, accepting it, working on finding a better work / life balance and learning how to juggle!